The Heart of Family: Glenn Magpantay’s Journey into Parenthood
When Glenn D. Magpantay, a U.S. Senate-appointed Commissioner for Civil Rights, shared his decision to adopt a child with his parents, the moment was steeped in uncertainty. As he spoke, his mother held her breath, waiting for his father’s response. Finally, his father said something that caught him off guard: “Well, you’re your own man now. Go ahead. Your son will be welcome here, but he won’t be my grandson because he isn’t my blood.”
In that moment, Glenn felt conflicted. How would his father truly accept this new addition to their family?
But a few months later, the barriers began to crumble. Glenn cradled his two-week-old son and carefully placed him in his father’s arms. In an instant, the hardened heart melted. His father found joy in holding what became his fifth grandchild, embracing not just his bloodline but the essence of family—love transcending color, origin, and traditional ties.
As for Glenn’s mother? Well, she remained steadfast in her own ways, opting not to be called “lola,” or grandmother. Yet, in the end, Glenn chuckles as he reflects on the age-old parental hopes: “All a parent really wants is for their children to be rich, find companionship, and make them grandparents.”
A Family Like Any Other
Now, 19-year-old Malcolm Magpantay is carving out his own path. College campus life is beckoning him at Johnson & Wales University in Rhode Island, where he’s pursuing a degree in Business. Despite his independence and some typical teenage inclinations, he cherishes the bond he shares with his father. They’ve traveled to places like Dubai and Hawaii, experienced the thrill of amusement parks, and savored simple moments in local parks.
“At 19, what teenager really wants to hang out with their dad all the time?” Malcolm laughs, more amused than hurt. “He’s 100 percent independent.”
Their story reflects the evolving landscape of family dynamics.
Embracing Different Family Structures
Malcolm, who is Black, came into the world through a single mother in Philadelphia. With Glenn and his then-husband raising him together, their journey didn’t end with their divorce six years ago. Instead, they transitioned into co-parents, showcasing how modern families can meet challenges head-on.
Malcolm affectionately calls Glenn “Papa,” a nod to their Filipino roots. For Glenn, being a gay parent hasn’t come with as much scrutiny as one might expect. It’s not about being gay, he insists; it’s simply about being a man devoted to his child.
He recalls moments at flea markets where, when Malcolm was young, he faced judgment from strangers during a tantrum over a toy firetruck. “They’d ask, ‘Where’s his mother?’ I’d respond, ‘I’m his father. I know exactly what he needs,’” he shared. These encounters revealed the persistent stereotypes that continue to linger about parenting roles—a reminder that nurturing is often seen as a maternal instinct.
Leading by Example
From Malcolm’s preschool days onward, Glenn has consistently worked towards normalizing family diversity. One standout moment occurred at a school event when he confidently introduced their family structure: “My child doesn’t have a mom—he has two dads.”
What followed was a beautiful exchange of stories. Parents shared their own unique experiences—single mothers, blended families—confirming that in vibrant cities like New York, families come in all shapes and sizes. For Malcolm, having two dads has never felt like a burden. In fact, when telling a classmate about his family, the response was simple but warm: “That’s so cool.”
When children ask why their families might look different, Glenn believes that honesty is the best policy. “You tell them they have two dads because of love,” he explains. “Children often accept these things more easily than adults do.”
A Balancing Act of Parenthood
Glenn recognizes societal assumptions about the distinct roles of mothers and fathers—such as nurturing versus discipline—but in their household, those lines are beautifully blurred. “Every parent has to do everything,” he asserts.
However, raising a child in this era comes with its own set of challenges, from concerns about safety to the pressures faced by today’s youth. “The world can be a tough place,” he acknowledges. “You do your best, hoping your child grows up kind and resilient.”
As he reflects on the joys and struggles of parenthood, Glenn offers a dose of reality: “Being a parent is the most rewarding experience of my life—and also the most difficult.”
Paving the Road for Future Generations
When Glenn became a father, role models for gay men navigating parenthood were scarce. “Twenty years ago, so few of us were doing this,” he shared. But today, the tide is shifting. More LGBTQ+ families are visible, accepted, and celebrated, showing the world that love knows no bounds.
Glenn’s journey is a testament to the quiet courage it takes to pave the way for future generations, reminding us of the love that binds families together in all their beautiful, varied forms.
